That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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