giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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