What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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