Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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