Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
