I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
