I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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