How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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