I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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