I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
