Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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