I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
