Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize