Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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