"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
