You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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