Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
