I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
