Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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