My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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