the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
