i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
