Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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