i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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