SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
