Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
