It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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