dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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