3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
