just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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