I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
