What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
