thus making me awesome and them whores
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
