i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
