I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
