You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
