my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
