you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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