turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just puked most of my soul out..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
