I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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