am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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