but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
