If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize