And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
