Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
