it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
