I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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