The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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