I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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