went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
