Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
