my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize