Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
