pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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