Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
