I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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