u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
