God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
