Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My ass is underappreciated
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
