Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
