Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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