Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize