its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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