Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
