ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
