Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
